How is Child Custody Determined in Connecticut?

There are two types of “custody” requiring resolution in a divorce process: Legal custody and physical custody.

Legal custody refers to a parent's right to make important decisions about the child's life, including education, healthcare, and religious upbringing. In most cases, joint legal custody is agreed upon or awarded, allowing both parents to share in these decisions. However, if one parent is deemed unfit, or if parents are completely incapable of making decisions together (even with the help of a facilitator), sole legal custody may be granted to the other parent. On rare occasions, joint legal custody with “final decision-making authority” may be granted to one parent or the other with regards to one or more of the major decision-making categories.

Physical custody (or “a parenting plan”) pertains to where the child is physically located at any given time. Parenting plans provide for a division of parenting time in a manner that best suits the parents’ and child’s schedules.

While Connecticut statutes still refer to “custody” and “visitation”, we prefer to avoid these words – especially the latter. No child or parent should be labeled a “visitor” in the other’s life. We also suggest avoiding the label of “primary” physical custody (as opposed to simply setting forth a parenting schedule in court documents). Where there is a “primary” custodian, the other parent can often (consciously or unconsciously) be deemed “secondary”, which is usually not a concept that is in the child’s best interest.

What Factors Require Consideration in Child Custody Disputes?

When deciding any custodial issues, the Connecticut court system prioritizes the best interests of the child above all else, and this guiding principle influences every decision made. Several factors contribute to this assessment. To start, the child’s physical and emotional well-being is paramount, so the court system will evaluate the child’s mental and physical health, safety, and general welfare concerns. The system will also consider the child’s developmental needs and the stability of each parent’s home environment. The court will, of course, also take into account any history of family violence or substance abuse, as these issues can significantly impact the child's well-being and safety.

The relationship between the child and each parent is another critical factor. Courts look at the bond the child shares with each parent and how well each parent understands and meets the child’s needs. Additionally, the willingness of each parent to facilitate a relationship between the child and the other parent is taken into account. Cooperation and co-parenting skills are highly valued, as they indicate a supportive environment for the child's growth.

In some cases, the child's preference may also be considered, especially if the child is old or mature enough to express a reasoned choice.

How Can You Protect Your Children During a Divorce?

Protecting children in a custody or parenting schedule dispute involves several key steps to ensure their well-being and minimize emotional stress:

1. Prioritize Children's Best Interests: Always make decisions based on what is best for the children, considering their physical, emotional, and psychological needs.
2. Maintain Stability: Try to keep children's daily routines consistent. This includes their school, extracurricular activities, and social interactions.
3. Effective Communication: Keep open and honest communication with the children, appropriate to their age, to help them understand the situation without causing undue stress or fear. There are a number of excellent books on the topic. “Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way” by M. Gary Neuman is one well-respected publication.
4. Avoid Conflict Exposure: Do not argue or discuss contentious issues in front of the children. Shield them from conflicts and negative remarks about the other parent.
5. Encourage Positive Relationships: Foster a healthy relationship between the children and the other parent (unless there are true safety concerns).
6. Consider Using Mediators or Co-Parenting Counselors: Mediation and the use of co-parenting counselors can help resolve disputes amicably and reduce the adversarial nature of court proceedings.
7. Therapeutic Support: Enlist the help of a child therapist to provide emotional support for the children. This can help them process their feelings and cope with the changes.
8. Follow Agreements: Adhere strictly to any agreements made (or court orders entered). Non-compliance can ultimately negatively impact your children’s stability.
9. Parent-Care: Take care of your own emotional and physical well-being. A stable and healthy parent is better equipped to support and care for their children during this challenging time.

By focusing on these steps, you can help ensure that your children are protected and their needs are met during the divorce process.

If you have any additional questions or would like to speak with a knowledgeable and compassionate Connecticut divorce lawyer or mediator about your matter, contact the Law Offices of Eric R. Posmantier, LLC today.